Phase Two

The stages of culture shock.

(Which, by the way, is a misnomer: we don't feel "shock" in the sense that we're surprised or baffled; "Cultural Fatigue" or "Cultural Adjustment" are better names.)

Obviously the chart is simple and depends on so many other factors, but no matter what, there are bound to be those occasional moments where you feel discontentment or hostility for your host culture. In the JET world, we call it "stage-twoing." After having ridden the honeymoon wave of culture explosion, you settle in to a second stage in which you're more prone to homesickness or frustration. In our schedule, this just happens to coincide with the onset of colder weather, which for me means lethargy and laze.

My outlook hasn't changed, and neither have my circumstances per se. But the combination of approaching the 3-month mark, the arrival of the cold autumn winds, and the onset of unexpected health issues has lately given me less reason to celebrate and more reason to stew.

From afar, it must look like my life is simple and great. That's how others' lives looked to me when I saw their pictures of life in Japan. That's because pictures string together a simple story of a simple life. They're each a square on a patchwork quilt called My Life, but they're only the cover, the surface. My life feels so much more complicated than my collections of pictures can reveal.

But, it's all a reminder to me of the quote I have written on my wall. The agent of change is you. You guide your own life. You guide your actions and your attitudes. And it is your attitude which determines everything.

I'm very lucky that I have a workplace which supports me. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for my kind 校長先生 (principal) and JTE (Japanese Teacher of English.) I'm very lucky I have a network of friends and acquaintances, those who can empathize with me and help me, throughout Gunma and beyond. I'm very lucky to BE HERE. NOW. Securely employed doing something I'm passionate about. Learning a culture and a language. Yes, I need other facets of my life in order for it to feel complete, but they're all second fiddle to those two things.

So I choose to be content.