The dampness in the air, the ubiquitous droplets on the windows of my car and the leaves of flowers, the whirr of windshield-wipers wiping, reminds me both of Nagasaki two years ago and of summers in Buffalo where I visit my family every year. Rain is so much more tolerable when it's warm out. Though it can be uncomfortable, something about a dense humidity also makes me feel alive. Think of a deep tropical rainforest bursting with life, a passionate jungle heat contained in the humidity under the treetops.
In California I never really noticed what flowers were around me or when they bloomed, but here everyone notices and leads their lives around the cycle of when things bloom and die. Maybe this is how it is on the East Coast, where they, too, have 4 distinct seasons?
Each three months I spend here feel twice as fast as the previous three. Fall seems like a long, elegant, detail-filled slide. Winter's cold days after days merged into one another and became indiscernable, one extended shiver. Spring's floral embrace felt like it had barely just started when we were suddenly enveloped in the cloak of summer once more. It's hard to believe that each day really moves just as fast as the one before. Before I can even stop to think about it, I'll have passed the 11-month mark and soon, the one-year-mark as well.
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I'm proud to say I'm growing as an English teacher. My goal since April has been to (get ready for this mouthful) effectively incite independent verbal communication skill, and due to my efforts so far I've seen a lot of improvement in my students in both willingness to converse and general speaking ability. But while my competence increases, my roles and responsibilities at school do not. It's frustrating that the amount of power we ALTs have over school and classroom decisions is so small that very few actual changes will ever be made. The school environment we're specifically put in to change, never does. And because ALT turnover is so high, all my growth and progress will be made irrelevant to the school as another brand-spankin'-new ALT takes my place next year.
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I'm becoming very aware of different cultural spaces. When I'm at work I'm in a Japanese cultural space. Even if I'm speaking English to my JTE, I must still speak and react and "be" Japanese. Oftentimes in class or while reading students' work I crack a joke to myself in my head (or sometimes out loud to no one...heh heh), briefly passing through a "Western" cultural space before I shoot back to Japanese. When I'm with fellow JET friends, I'm enveloped in a Western cultural space, with all the language and humor and rules of conversation and personal space that go with it, and sometimes it doesn't even feel like I'm in Japan. When, in the midst of that space, I need to interact with an out-group Japanese person, like a salesperson or a stranger on the street, I quickly shoot into a Japanese cultural space, instantly taking on the desirable attributes of Japanese culture as I switch languages. I guess this is all kind of commonsense, but this year is the first time in my life where I've even recognized the need to "switch cultures" back and forth like that. I think a lot of kids growing up with immigrant parents already get a fluent experience in this their entire childhood. Inside the home they act their parents' home culture; outside the home, they act American. I grew up with what felt like the same culture both inside and outside the home, so I never experienced this cultural pluralism, but it's an experience I hope to be able to bestow to my future children in some way.
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That's all for now! This entry sounded really serious and brooding! I'll try to be funnier next time! OK! Bye!
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