Back

I'm back!! I can use the Internet from my phone anywhere like a normal person now. I'm already disgusted by how loud and rude Americans are. Whaaaatever. I can't let it drain me. 

Over

I'm now in Tokyo waiting for my friend Christine to come home. I'm creepily waiting outside her apartment in the sweaty heat (even though it's 10:45pm.) Sweat is the theme of this trip. Something stinks, I just thought. Oh, it's me. I stink. Not only am I sweaty but my clothes bear the sweat of 29 days of Asian summer heat. Inside my backpack are a month's worth of sweaty clothes, several pairs of dirty underwear, and 4 pairs of rancid socks. (Don't get me wrong, I've done laundry twice on this trip, but the past 2 weeks in Southeast Asia have been without. Trekking in Sapa made everything mildewy and nasty!) Anyway, I have an errand to run tomorrow. Buying an expensive, Japan-exclusive pair of pants for a friend of mine because I'm ~so nice.~ Then I'm off on a plane to San Jose! Woo hoo. 

 Me and Analieser herself. 

Almost Done

Sapa is a beautiful and quaint (although overly touristic) "village" in the highlands of Japan. Analiese and I arrived with the intention (and the tour booking) of climbing Mt. Fanxipan, the highest mountain in Indochina (which encompasses Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos...apparently.) I was a little apprehensive about the climbing itinerary of 6 hours one day and 7 the next, along with staying overnight on the mountain in a tent, but I went along with it. It couldn't be worse than Fuji, I thought, and I've climbed that twice. Plus, I like hiking, I like conquering new peaks and working through my exhaustion to emerge victorious. So I was excited. But Analiese and I didn't plan on a lot of things. We didn't plan on our "English-speaking guide" knowing just a few words. We didn't plan on every other member of our 20+ member touring party being Vietnamese. We didn't plan on the "trail" being just a roughly-hewn vague sense of direction through the wilderness, led by our guides. And we certainly didn't plan on the rain. So much rain. Lots of rain. Creating rivers where there were none, making the trail dangerously muddy and slippery, soaking through my cotton bag. (Which I was stupid to bring.) Our tennis shoes were soaked through and crusted with mud within 20 minutes. The guides talked to the other tour members, but not to us. In inadequate shoes, I was slipping left and right. The rain was making me irritable and uncomfortable. Whether rational or not, I was stricken with a sense of isolation and misery. Then I slipped and rolled my ankle. It was less than one hour in. If we were to continue, we would face 5 more hours of rain-hiking that day, a restless sleep in a wet mildewy tent, and 7 hours of hiking the next day, all with people who don't speak a word of English. Analiese and I quickly decided that this hike wasn't a great possibility for us, not least of all because of my ankle. We told the guide, and luckily for us, a porter was able to accompany us on the way back down. We couldn't get refunded for our tour fee, but we got a hotel room anyway and stayed there instead. I stayed in and rested my ankle (which was boring but super necessary) while Analiese explored. Today I walked on it a bit, and it should be fine--just a minor sprain. But yesterday it really hurt. Sapa is beautiful regardless and it's so, so nice to be in a place that isn't 100 degrees. 

Now I'm on the night train back to Hanoi. This train is RICKETY AS F*CK. I don't know how anyone can sleep at all on this thing. But it's clean inside. On the train on the way to Sapa, I happened to overhear two Japanese girls talking and they were the first I had encountered on this whole trip, so I said hi and introduced myself and then went back to my room. I was sad because I thought that I wouldn't see them again. But GUESS WHAT! They are my bunkmates on the overnight train this time!! This train has 11 cars and each one has 8 four-person berths. What are the chances that we are in the same berth!! They are Sayaka from Kanagawa (Zushi) and Nao from Saitama (Kasukabe.) They live in Ho Chi Minh city and teach preschool at a Japanese school there. We just got done talking for over an hour. Meeting them was so fun!!! Once again I am so so happy to speak Japanese and to get a chance to meet Japanese people. I am smiling so big because what are the chances?! It makes me so happy. 

We have one more day in Hanoi tomorrow, then I go back to Japan for a quick stopover, then back to CA! 

Extra Day in Hanoi

(Because our cruise was shortened.) 

Today Analiese and I were sitting on a park bench overlooking Hoan Liem lake when a well-dressed college student approached me and said "Hello. May I practice English with you?" Two more soon flowed. We talked for about half an hour about lots of different things in English. This is something that would never ever happen in Japan. Only the rarest of Japanese young people would have the nerve to walk up to someone randomly and ask them to talk. It was super fun!! 

We also went to the Women's Museum of Vietnam. A touching tribute to all that women do. I was touched by the descriptions of street vendors in Hanoi--many come from far away in the rural areas, but are forced to work in the city to make enough to feed their children. They carry immensely heavy baskets of food or goods on their shoulders all day long and make about $20 a week (one woman said.) I guess we've all heard this stuff firsthand and we know it to be true intellectually but it's not until you experience it firsthand that it touches you emotionally. At least that's how it felt to me. Im considering sponsoring a child through CCF, the Cambodian Children's Fund, because I saw what they live in and what they need. But then again I'm not sure where my money would be going and if to be going to the right places. I need to do some research. 

We're soon leaving for Sapa where we won't have wifi for at least two days. See you after! This trip is almost coming to a close. 

Ha Long Bay

Ha Long Bay was absolutely gorgeous and breath-taking as I imagined. Our three-day two-night tour got cut short into a two-day one-night tour, but we still got lots of time to view the bay. The only thing we really missed was the cave dinner/cave exploration. It was a really relaxing experience. 

Tomorrow we're going hiking in Sapa to the northwest of Hanoi. I'm a little worried because it's supposed to be 7 hours of hiking each day, and it's predicted to rain! We'll see how it works out. 

Hanoi

We're in Hanoi now which is the final city/area of our trip. But we still have about a week left--3 days at Ha Long Bay, 3 days trekking in Sapa, and 1 final day in Hanoi before we fly back. 

Cambodia was beautiful and the people are so kind. Our Couchsurfing host MJ definitely made the experience for us. She took us to a children's home that she volunteers at in the countryside and we played with the kids. There were lots of animals there too. It was easy to see how the countryside is poorer than the city (although the city is poor too.) Everything is dirty. Kids don't have shoes. Lots of corrugated metal roofs, lots of litter. This experience in Cambodia slightly makes me question whether or not I can handle the Peace Corps. MJ was absolutely the best but staying at her apartment was not. No hot water, no flush for the toilet (you just pour water down the bowl), lots of bugs, and in general less seperation between inside and out. I know I WANT to do Peace Corps so that I can learn to love this kind of lifestyle but I really am not used to it. But riding motorbikes with MJ and her friend around the city was super fun :) 

Mai in Ho Chi Minh city also took us out on motorbikes with her and her friends. There really is a rush to it. The wind whipping by feels great. It feels alive. And I never felt unsafe. I just wouldn't want to actually drive one. :x 

I want to say more but my hands hurt and I can't type on this iPhone for very long. 

Ha Long Bay cruise tomorrow! No wifi for 3 days :( update after! 

Ho Chi Minh City

I'm at Mai's house in Ho Chi Minh City and it doesn't feel gross!!!! Yay. Her family is slightly better-off since her parents are/were in the military. 

HCMC is the city I feel the least safe in. There are not a lot of tourist things but it's a vibrant, pulsating city, more metropolitan than Hanoi. We went to the War Remnants museum which was sobering, and walked around in all sorts of parks. I'd love to have a couple more days here. 

I'm feeling very grateful for a lot of things. Grateful for my GREAT couchsurfing hosts. Grateful that I'm decent at keeping my wits about me, not getting my stuff stolen, not succumbing to scams. I've made it this far in my trip with nothing stolen, lost or missing, no flights missed, no injury or tragedy. And for that I feel very, very grateful. 

Cambodia

It's hot. 

Reaaallllllly hot.

My hair becomes wet with sweat after 10 minutes in the sun, making it curl and get frizzy and big. My face, my backpack, my armpits, my whole shirt becomes a sweat pool.  But the humidity is good for my voice and (maybe?) my skin. 

The temples at Ankgor were as special as you'd think. So much history and pure craftsmanship poured into 35 years of back-breaking work. 

Now we're in Phnom Penh, the capital. We see relative poverty but according to a woman we met on the bus, it's nowhere near the level of poverty in te rural countryside areas. They just have nowhere to go and nothing to do, no way to make money, nothing to eat. So hordes of people are moving from the country to the cities, which ultimately is unsustainable as well. 

There's a lot of dirtiness and shittiness but there's also a degree of newness as well. We went grocery shopping at AEON mall in Phnom Penh, which might as well be transplanted directly from japan, it has so many of the same products--and prices. 

Later today we're going volunteering with our couch-surfing host, MJ. We're excited to have a unique experience courtesy of her. 

Then tomorrow is our last day in Cambodia! 

Halfway Point

Now I'm in Malaysia waiting to get on my plane to Siem Reap. This airport is nice and has decent wifi (way better than Haneda.) I exchanged $10 into Ringgits (Malaysian money) which ended up being a little bit too much. My breakfast cost 26.40 ringgits out of the 36 I got, so now I have 9 left. What to do with them? Save them til I go back to Malaysia again someday? Haha.

I started feeling nostalgic and sad to be leaving Japan as I was leaving for the airport yesterday, but now I'm too exhausted to really feel or process anything. I'm anxious to get to Siem Reap, anxious about everything, just want to fall into a bed. Hope everything goes well. 

This trip felt weird because I had never taken a "trip" to Japan before--I'd only ever lived there. So being back, there was nothing I could do to convince my body that I wasn't staying there for an extended time, that this was, in fact, temporary. And temporary it was. It felt suuuper short. But it was fun. :) I reunited with some great friends and got to see my students, which is all I could've asked for. 

Now onto SEA. 

Shinkansen

I'm on my final shinkansen (bullet train) ride of the trip. I love how easy shinkansens are to ride. Their signage is easy and clear, in Japanese and English. Many of them have outlets at the seats. They are clean, quiet, air-conditioned, and almost always on time. And they are so, so fast. For me, they're a model of how a train system should be run. They're just really expensive :P even an hourlong ride can run you $50, and it's definitely cheaper to fly if you are going a long distance. But since I've had my rail pass, it's been super convenient and fun to ride them whenever possible :) 

A Creeper

The word that I feel in Japan is safe. It sounds like a magical far-off concept I guess, but Japanese seriously believe in 和 (wa), which sort of means peace/harmony. Don't do anything which disturbs the peace. Obviously this has large repercussions both positive and negative, but one the biggest positives is everyone's sense of civic responsibility. People don't steal. People return things that they find. People wait their turn. People are polite, patient and unintrusive. I generally feel safer in Japan than I do in the states. 

 Today was a reminder that it's not always a utopia. Today I visited Himeji castle alone to do some sight-seeing and a creepy man followed me around, asking me questions, asking to hold my bag for me, trying to talk in barely intelligible English (even though I said 10 times that Japanese is fine.) I was nice at first and then ignored him as much as possible and tried to lose him as I slowed down or sped up my sightseeing pace. But he kept finding me. Finally he asked me something I couldn't understand (due to his English), but it had the word "escort." I said I'm going home after this. He said are you alone? (In Japanese) I said yes. He said do you have a boyfriend? I lied and said yes. As soon as I said yes he quickly booked it out of the area and I didn't see him again. Overall this is one of the weirdest interactions I've had in Japan, and certainly brings up all kinds of frustrating feelings. The fetishization of foreigners. The idea that you're only off-limits once you're "somebody else's" and not because you're not interested. The realization that interactions like this happen every day in every country in the world. Japan is such a safe and easily liveable country, and in general men are polite and unthreatening (which I really appreciate), but misogyny exists here like anywhere else. 

Heat wave in Nara

Today was fun but super super suuuuuuuuper hot. I think I bought 3 vending machine drinks which is a record. And biking around was fun but I almost got heat stroke and was reminded of how shitty I felt in the heat when I was biking around at Sukhothai last year. Woo! I'm so glad I could meet up with Yuka and Manami. 

Then at night Yuki and I met up and Chika, Yudai and Daisuke were there too! Super glad I got to see them and talk to them. Daisuke and I had a really good talk on the train back. 

I haven't interacted with a native speaker of English in about two days and I won't tomorrow either. 

Kansai

I'm finally in Kyoto for the final leg of my Japan trip. Only two more full days! ;_; I'm staying with a Couchsurfer, Shuji, in Kyoto which is really nice. He's really nice but also really awkward in a Japanese man kind of way. I sort of feel like I am abusing Couchsurfing because I am already so familiar with Japan and know so many people here, but oh well. It has its ups and downs compared to a hotel. I'm staying in a real Japanese old house which is exciting and reminds me of the little inn my mom and I stayed at in Tokyo. Sliding doors, stairs that are wooden and steep as f*ck, a teenytiny bath room, etc. and of course tatami woven floors. I actually really love tatami and futon. Comfortable bedding on a tatami floor is so nice and tatami rooms smell great. :) 

Tomorrow I'm going to Nara with Yuka and on Monday I'm going to Arashiyama and Fushimi Inari in Tokyo. This trip is kinda messed up because I could be going to places I've never been like Himeji castle, Koyasan in Wakayama prefecture, or Tottori sand dunes, but I'm not. I'll have to save them for next time. 

I'm exhausted now so bedtime! 

My babies

I'm in a much better mood today. Yesterday was so much fun and due to a series of fateful coincidences everything worked out perfectly so that I got to see all of the students I wanted to see. I visited my school and had class during the day with my students. They were so precious. After school I was futsing around on a ukulele that my successor left at school and watching the girls' tennis practice in the gym when their tennis coach laid out a chair for me and told me to give an impromptu ukulele/singing concert. I'm seriously a beginner at ukulele so I felt sort of embarrassed but it was fun. All the girls just sat silently in a line and watched me. Japanese kids, they just know how to be polite. <3 I'm glad my voice has recovered juust enough from my pharyngitis/laryngitis to be able produce vocal sounds that are actual pitches and not just grunts. I played/sang I'm Yours and More Than Words(which I had just learned an hour before....barely.)

After school Cece (my successor) and I went to Onogami Onsen and happened to run into two of our old students who had graduated. Then later we went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant and two other graduated students were able to join us, including my favorite, Konomi. I care about them and their happiness and their futures so so much. I'm really happy I got to see them again. <3 

Today I'm on a day trip to Niigata, a neighboring prefecture, for no particular reason other than to do something and to make use of my rail pass. Except I just missed the last train so now I'm waiting an our for the next one. Woohoo! 

This mouse and man say hi from Niigata station. 

Sick

I'm in a bad mood. I'm sick and I wish I wasn't sick...especially with something that makes my voice sooooo hoarse and limited and weak. Why is it -always- my voice. I just want to talk to people. :( I hope I get better soon. I woke up late and now there's not enough time to do a day trip today. So I guess I'm not doing much today. :/ 

Back home

I'm in my old apartment which now belongs to my predecessor. It's not that weird. Everything just sorta feels like I never left. Everything feels super normal. 

Mt. Takao

Mt. Takao was gorgeous and in the end I'm happy that I went alone because I got to not use my voice for that amount of time (I have a weird cold but I'm not down about it except for the fact that my voice won't come out.) I got lost but it was fun. I've never been to a place like Takao. It's a hybrid of gorgeous pristine mountain trails, tourist traps galore, and a huge temple/shrine complex embedded into the side of a mountain. 

First night

I was tired and exhausted after my plane ride and train ride into Tokyo, so I just wanted to go home. But Nana wanted to make a stop at a restaurant. Whatever, I said. It'll only take a minute. 

Surprise! There were 7 of my supportive and kind friends, who only knew me for a month, taking time out of their busy lives to meet with me and even make me a sign. All-you-can-eat, with special consideration to my veggie-ness. Funny stories, feeling weak in my Japanese but participating as much as I can (and enduring the relentless compliments.) Walking an empty harajuku at 10pm on a weeknight. Getting a ride from Yuta all the way home instead of having to take the train home. (Yay!) Singing Ariana Grande at the top of my lungs (to my later regret.) A nice warm shower and cozy bed. (Though I woke up at 8 unable to go back to sleep for probably the first time in my life...stupid jet lag.) 

On the train from the airport to Tokyo

It seriously feels like I never left. Everything feels....SO....normal. Like I'm just picking up where I left off. I still have moments of biting nostalgia, though. Just like seeing streets and shops and stuff. I'm excited to be here. Feels like I'm coming home. 

June 30th 11:20 am - SJC airport

Getting to the airport 4 hours early: not recommended. (But thank you Stefanie for dropping me off!) 

I couched myself in the handicap bathroom and stretched a full 20-minute stretch. (Luckily no one came in who needed to use that bathroom.) I walked around. I wrote in my journal. I ate a smoothie. And now I'm on my phone. With an hour to go 'til boarding. Running on 4 hours of sleep. This vacation is starting! I'm lucky and I hope I get to stay this lucky to have more time off to travel than the average corporate businessperson. One of the perks of being a teacher. 

I guess I'll go walk around some more... 

Summer 2015

Tomorrow I'm off to Japan (again), Cambodia, and Vietnam for a month!

This blog never got closure from when I left Japan last July. It's now about 11 months later. Can't believe I've been back in the states that long! I could have sworn I updated this blog at least once after coming back, but I guess not.

I like my life and I feel decently optimistic about it now. This is a big change from this past fall, where I often felt helpless, detached, struggling to float. My first few jarring months a new teacher, combined with settling into a brand-new life with (mostly) brand-new people, combined with fall and winter's seasonal changes, made staying optimistic a challenge. Even though teaching is still the toughest thing I've ever done, am doing, and ever will be doing, and I still deeply struggle with the fact that I'm not immediately successful at it, I'm proud of the progress I've made and I'm proud to say I am optimistic about going into next year with improvements all around, both in my professional and personal life. I've reached a sort of landing on the way to the plateau of stability I crave. Maybe it will come, or maybe it won't, but I don't but at least I don't feel like I'm about to jump off the edge.

I hope this summer is an island of respite rather than a frantic drive of activity. You know how vacations can be both. I'm traveling during nearly all of my free time this summer (a whole month!), leaving me with about 5 days once I get back to move into my new place and prepare for the upcoming school year. (We start Professional Development on August 6th with classes starting at the end of August.) Whether this is a good decision or a misguided one, time will tell!

Even though I miss Japan in various fantastical and surface ways, and often look at pictures longingly, what I REALLY miss is the people. My friends and relationships. So I'm most excited to be returning to them once more. Most of my friends from my time in Japan are still there. I think slowly over time my friends will leave Japan and my relationships will fade, so I'll have less of a reason to go there. And I know that if I want to see all the countries in the world I really want to see, I cannot spend my summer each year seeing once more a place I'm already so familiar with. But at least for this year, it felt like the right thing to do.

Then, Analiese and I are going to Cambodia for ~5 days and Vietnam for ~9 days. I'm pretty nervous! A lot more planning (and money) has been involved than when I went to Thailand, and I feel more unsure about this trip than I ever have my previous ones--so much less is set in stone, so much more is up to chance, so much more is at stake. But I'm getting better at traveling. And scoring major adult points. Even though travel planning can be super stressful and worrisome, not once do I ever think it's not worth it. Of course it's worth it. Nothing could be more worth it. Especially for me, as an exercise in letting go and letting what happen, will--no matter what happens.

I don't know if I'll really be able to update this thing from my iPhone from the road ('cause I won't have laptop/desktop computer access for most of the time that I'm there), but I'll try to update when I can! Otherwise, expect a crapload of updates when I get back (possibly including pictures although that's kind of a hassle.)

I can't shake the feeling that I've forgotten something or that something is wrong, but I get that before every trip. Whatever happens happens and I will live to tell the tale! Here we go.